


Perfect As It Is

by Viktor Ziegler (ToriLayne25)



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Author Projects Onto Characters, Author likes JJ a lot but needed him for this role, Does Bruno Mars Is Gay, Forgive the Author JJ, Gen, Gratuitous mention of memes, JJ is the bad guy, M/M, Mila is also the friend going to school to become a Psychiatrist, Mila is the mom friend, Rewriting this as we speak, Seung-gil kinkshames Emil, Sleepovers, TW Dysphoria, Trans Male Character, Trans Yuri Plisetsky, Viktor is spelled with a K, Voltron Hogwarts House Discourse, tw Mention of Sex, tw Thoughts of Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-20
Updated: 2017-03-01
Packaged: 2018-09-18 17:14:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9395270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ToriLayne25/pseuds/Viktor%20Ziegler
Summary: Update Notes 17.Aug.2017:I'm rewriting this au and I posted the first chapter of my rewrite [LINK HERE] so, from now on, this fic does not represent the AU.I mean, you can still read this if you want; I'm an author, not a cop.“Yuri, I’m not abandoning you.”“Really?”“Really. I want to go back to being friends.”“Back to being friends?? ... We wereneverfriends. We met on a blind date. We flirted. We started dating. The only thing to go back to is... being strangers.”Yuri gets slam dunked into a dumpster fire of a breakup and tries to figure out why. Mila uses her psych class knowledge to try and take care of him. Viktor is Extra about everything.





	1. Perfect as it Is

**Author's Note:**

> I have a few notes on this but they were all super long so I cut them down a lot.
> 
> (1) **There will be some triggering things** \- I will list specific trigger warnings at the beginning of each chapter.  
>  (2) **Any text in Russian/Cryrillic, Japanese/Kanji, or French will be translated when you hover over them!** If I miss a translation (other than the nicknames in phones) let me know!  
>  (3) Everyone in the AU is aged-up 3 years from where the canon is at this moment.
> 
> _(edited 17.Aug.2017)_

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuri goes to Mila for comfort, Mila is suspicious of Bad Things™ happening. Author projects onto characters.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Work Title / Chapter Title from [Technical Dave: Perfect As It Is](https://youtu.be/mPIoUtEHnEc)
> 
> Anything in Russian/Cyrillic will be translated when you hover over it.  
> Triggers/Warnings: +TW Mention of sex;

When he left the apartment, Yuri got in his car, drove around the corner, then parked. He sat in there for about 8 minutes before getting a text from Mila

 

> **Баба  
>  ** Today 16:10
> 
> **Баба  
> ** -U told me u’d text me when u left and u shouldve left 10 minutes ago.  
>  -where are u nerd  
>  -did u literally run off w JJ without telling me bc how dare u b so romantic  
>  **You  
>  ** -Meet me at Vintage.

Yuri started the car again and drove the ten minutes it took to go to the coffee shop. Mila was waiting on the steps looking as beautiful as always "Hey! Yuri!” She shot up as soon as he stepped out of the car. She looped her arms around his shoulders and hugged him, affectionate as always. As she pulled back she noticed Yuri wasn’t being his normal angry self, but a muted, sad side of him she hasn’t seen in almost two years. “Hey are you okay?”

Yuri opened his mouth to speak then shut it again, not really knowing what to say or how. He shrugged and nodded for her to follow him inside to order their coffee. “Can I get a mocha,” his voice low and soft.

Yuri got out his wallet and Mila stepped in, ordering “I’ll have a macchiato,” then to Yuri “I’ll buy the tea if you’ll spill it.” That made the younger boy crack a bit of a smile before it reformed into the straight line from before.

While waiting on their coffee, Mila played with Yuri’s hands, trying to distract him enough for him to not have a break down over whatever it was that was bothering him. She knows he’ll tell her when he’s ready. He has for years.

Yuri asked they drive to “the picnic place” and Mila abides, driving them both to [the old house overlooking the lake](https://twitter.com/DivaSongHana/status/829041540760743936). Both of them were bundled in their coats and sitting on the bench in silence. The silence lasted 4 minutes until Yuri started letting out sobs.

“He- Mila, he broke up with me” Yuri spilled out through choked sobs.

Mila was shocked. Those two were so in love and when JJ was in town they did not leave each other’s sight. Although she was suspicious of him being a generally less than mediocre human being. She scooted a little closer to him and started rubbing his back, “Oh, Yuri. What happened?”

“We- we were just watching Hell’s Kitchen and having a great time just cuddling and being happy and he-” Yuri coughed through a sob “he tapped my shoulder to get my attention and I’m like ‘what is it babe?’ and he’s like-” Yuri deepens his voice a little to simulate JJ’s voice “‘Yuri, what if we… broke up?’ and I’m like-” he turns from the water to Mila with a shocked expression, “I just don’t know what to say. I don’- I don’t know. I’m thinking ‘why is he bringing this up if he literally said to me two days ago that he saw a forever with me?’”

“Exactly what I’m thinking, go on,” Mila takes a sip of her coffee and continues rubbing Yuri’s back, playing the part of the gossipy friend and the mom friend at once.

“Tha- that’s not even the _worst_ part.”

“ _No._ ”

“We had just had sex an hour before.” Mila widened her eyes and her brows went up, “yeah, he _let me_ have sex with him when he had full intentions of breaking up with me.”

“Did he say why he was breaking up with you?”

“I asked and he said he didn’t see us working out and I’m like ‘can you specify?’ and he’s like ‘I don’t know’ and that’s when I started crying and then I had to go so I was pulling on my clothes and _crying_ and I walk out of the apartment and get in my car and I drove down the road so he would think I drove home then I sat in the Dollar General parking lot until you texted me.” That’s when he let his cries loose and hugged Mila, hiding his face in her neck.

Mila sat her coffee to the side and returned the hug, stroking his back and shushing him.

“It’s because I’m not a real boy. He doesn’t wanna date a girl.”

Mila immediately drew back and held Yuri at arms’ length, “Yuri Plisetsky, you are not a girl. You are not the little girl who was afraid of flying for the first time ten years ago, you are the absolute _nerd_ that so many people love. You aren’t a girl. Don’t let people tell you that you are. You are the most beautiful boy in this town and any boy would be lucky to have you. Plus, hasn’t he known you’re trans since like August?” Yuri nods. “If that was the reason, why would he wait until now to break up?” Yuri shrugged. “Exactly. He’s just an ass hole. It’s not because you’re trans, and no one is leaving you because of that any time soon.” She hugged him again, tighter, “We all love you Yuri. Don’t forget it.”

 

When Yuri calmed down enough to start drinking his coffee again, Mila got out her phone and texted Viktor, to update him on the situation, knowing Yuri wouldn’t be able to, given his state.

 

> **Vitya~!  
>  ** Today 16:17
> 
> **Vitya~!  
> ** -Yurio not text?  
>  **You  
> ** -Viktor please write something i can at least translate  
>  **Vitya~!  
> ** -[Юрий должен был мне текст, когда он покинул квартиру Джона. Слышали ли вы от него?](https://translate.google.com/#ru/en/%D0%AE%D1%80%D0%B8%D0%B9%20%D0%B4%D0%BE%D0%BB%D0%B6%D0%B5%D0%BD%20%D0%B1%D1%8B%D0%BB%20%D0%BC%D0%BD%D0%B5%20%D1%82%D0%B5%D0%BA%D1%81%D1%82%2C%20%D0%BA%D0%BE%D0%B3%D0%B4%D0%B0%20%D0%BE%D0%BD%20%D0%BF%D0%BE%D0%BA%D0%B8%D0%BD%D1%83%D0%BB%20%D0%BA%D0%B2%D0%B0%D1%80%D1%82%D0%B8%D1%80%D1%83%20%D0%94%D0%B6%D0%BE%D0%BD%D0%B0.%20%D0%A1%D0%BB%D1%8B%D1%88%D0%B0%D0%BB%D0%B8%20%D0%BB%D0%B8%20%D0%B2%D1%8B%20%D0%BE%D1%82%20%D0%BD%D0%B5%D0%B3%D0%BE%3F)  
>  **You  
> ** -Yes, I texted him a couple minutes ago. He wanted to go to Vintage Paris. I’m waiting for him there.  
>  -Oh he’s pulling up  
>  **Vitya~!  
>  ** -Care!
> 
> 16:42  
>  **You**  
>  Yuri is safe with me. I’ll drive him home soon and he might stay over at my place.  
>  [Read 16:42]

Mila put her arm around Yuri and held him tight to her side, “Now, you know better than anyone that Viktor is a total drama queen. People in your family are going to have a lot of questions, so you just need to tell them this:”

* * *

“Jean broke up with me. I don’t want to talk about it yet, I’m not okay right now. I’m gonna stay with Mila tonight.” Yuri trudged up the stairs to his room.

Mila held back to give Yuri some space and give Yūri her number since he’s better at reading and composing English texts. After sorting everything out, Mila went up to meet Yuri at his room. He wasn’t in there but she heard the water running in the bathroom. She stood outside the door, “Yuri, your uncles gave me some money for us to get takeout. Viktor’s gonna get your grandpa to make pirozhki for you tomorrow, so you have that to look forward to.”

No answer from the young man.

She rapped lightly on the door, and pushed it open slowly. Mila saw Yuri standing at the counter with his bag partly packed. He was staring at a pair of scissors in front of him.

Mila shifted out of Mom Friend Mode and kicked into (Future) Psychiatrist Mode. “Yuri,” she started, gaining the attention of the boy in the mirror.

“Mila…” He paused, “...should I cut my hair?”

Mila tried to keep her voice as calm as possible, “Why do you think you should?”

She can see him bite the dry skin on his bottom lip, “Because I’m a boy.”

She chanced a step in, “Well, do you like having long hair?”

Yuri raised a hand to his hair, holding a lock near his forehead. “Yea, kinda.”

Silence.

Mila slowly stepped in a little at a time and got to where she could help him put things in his bag. As Yuri grew older, he had decided to play around with make up a bit, and she noticed a lot of feminine products on his counter.

She tried to think of a distraction, “Go pick out some comfortable clothes. I’ll finish up here.” Yuri stopped his hands from idly messing with his belongings and was still for a bit before exiting the bathroom.

Mila let out the breath she was holding and started carefully setting Yuri’s makeup into his makeup bag before tucking it under the sink. She grabbed his toothpaste, face wash, and shaving supplies and shut them in his bag with his travel toothbrush and one dose of his meds. Mila also thought over her psych classes and tried to think of the best course of action. She took the prescription bottles and hid them in her own bag that she hasn’t shrugged off yet.

Mila met Yuri at his dresser holding a shirt from JJ’s college, presumably borrowed (without permission). Mila placed a hand in the dresser and found a pair of pj bottoms and a sweatshirt she knows he doesn’t hate. “Are these okay?” She asked, getting his attention.

“Huh? Oh, yea I like those.” He looked back down at the shirt, “Can-” he cleared his throat “can you- uh” he pushed the shirt to her.  
“Do you want me to hide it?” he shakes his head, “do you want me to take it to my house?” another shake, “should I take this to Viktor? So he can take care of it?” Yuri nods. “Okay.” She grabs the empty duffle bag from his closet. “Pack the pajamas and an outfit you like for tomorrow. And anything that might make you feel better.”

Mila leaves him alone to consult his uncles. “Viktor! Yūri!” She calls as she runs down the steps.

Viktor gets up from the couch and meets her, “Yes, what is it, Mila?”

She holds out the offending shirt, “while we’re gone, look for anything else that you think is JJ’s or might remind him of JJ.” She begins to turn away before stopping herself and turning back, “and he’s feeling like he’s not masculine enough so I put his makeup away, and he might try to cut his hair.” She almost leaves again, “Okay I don’t mean to bring down the mood even further, but do you remember Yurio having self-destructive tendencies or anything? I wanna know if I should enlist some people to help distract him.”

Yūri took in most of the information and is already making a mental list of anything he should look for when they leave, while Viktor is the only one (of those present) who really knew Yurio in the darker parts of his life.

Viktor thought back, “I-I don’t know. I never saw it. Why do you think he’d be self-destructive?”

Mila tried her best to explain, “Well, he, uh…” she sighed, “I don’t wanna leave him alone and idle for too long, basically a load bearing pillar has been removed from his life without warning and now he’s blaming himself and he’s gonna feel shitty for a long time. I’ll explain better later, but as soon as we leave, you have to wrangle up the JJ stuff, get any loose blades out of easy reach,” she took the bottles of medication out of her bag, seemingly producing them from a Mary Poppins dimension, and handed them to Yūri, “and find a way to control his medication so he doesn’t stop taking it... or do something stupider. I’m gonna help him finish pack and call a couple friends to help distract him at my house.” She gave two thumbs up to the dazed couple and dashed back up the stairs.

She came up to see Yuri sat on his bed hugging one of his stuffed cats from childhood. “Got everything packed?” she asked with a smile.

Yuri counted off on his fingers, “Pajamas, fun outfit, hygiene stuff, fun stuff.”

Mila strode over, grabbed his bag, and held out a hand for Yuri. “Know what you want for dinner?”

“I guess… Chinese.”

* * *

 

 

> **To: Sara ♥** ; **Furry Police** ; **The Robot** ; and **Dr. Buttbutt  
>  ** Today 17:33
> 
> **You** renamed the conversation to **Emergency Squad™**
> 
> **You  
> ** -Yuri is suffering a major breakup and needs distraction  & overnight watch. Meet at my place asap. We’re on our way to panda house so tell me what u want or ur gettin nothing.  
>  **Sara ♥  
> ** -Are *you* driving?  
>  **You  
> ** -Ye. He’s zoning out a lot  
>  **Sara ♥  
> ** -STOP TEXTING AND DRIVING.  
>  - &Cashew Chicken pls  
>  **Dr. Buttbutt  
> ** -Mila I want that tasty Moo Goo.  
>  **Furry Police  
> ** -I’m going to set you on fire  
>  **Sara ♥  
> ** -Do you actually want that or are you just being gross  
>  **Dr. Buttbutt  
> ** -BOTH  
>  **Furry Police  
> ** -Sweet n sour chicken for me.  
>  **The Robot  
> ** -Egg drop soup please Mila  
>  **Dr. Buttbutt  
> ** -dudes remember when we did those egg dropping science projects in elementary school  
>  **Sara ♥  
>  ** -Mila when u can, ask Yuri what his favorite ice cream is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m just starting in Russian so I can read something aloud and have a small vocabulary (This is not a sweater) but know literally no grammar. When I tested translating “Jean’s apartment” to Russian and back, it was something like “apartment, denim” and I’m thinking “Jean apartment, or Japartment” so Viktor’s text says “John’s apartment” instead.  
> The line Mila gives Yuri is from [Tech Dave's "Comfort Kills" Episode](https://youtu.be/jqf9Y11zJjs?t=6m8s)  
> Also Mila’s going to school to become a therapist or psychiatrist. That’s why she kinda knows what to do.  
> 


	2. Emergency Sleepover

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mila takes Yuri to her house to have a sleepover with some friends who want to cheer him up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That first chapter was in third person limited to Mila mostly but this second chapter onward is gonna be limited to just Yuri.  
>  **Triggers/Tags this chapter:** TW Mention of sex; Implied Nudity; TW Hospital talk (v light bc they're playing a bad surgery sim briefly)

The scene replayed in his head over and over. The strong forest-y scent, the ceiling fan, and the hand in his. The other hand taps his shoulder. “Yuri.”

Yuri turns to look to his boyfriend. “Yea, babe?”

He stills, looks in Yuri’s eyes, “what if we… broke up?”

Yuri gives an incredulous look, “are- are you kidding me?” Yuri thinks he’s joking.

Jean holds his hand tighter. “I’m not. I… I want to break up.”

He could feel his chest tighten like his heart and lungs were grabbed and being squeezed together. “I- why? What?”

Jean caressed his shoulders, “I just… I don’t think we’ll work out.”

Yuri scooted down the bed, “how long have you felt like this?”

“About a day.”

Yuri pushes himself off the bed, “i-if you wanted to break up with me since last night, then why did you let me have _sex_ with you _today_??”

Jean stood up, “I wanted you to have a good last day with me.”

Yuri could feel the tears streaming down his face and he took his boxers from off the ground and pulled them on, “so that’s it? You just decided to not try anymore? After telling me two days ago you saw forever with me?” He turned away from Jean and pulled his binder over his head with his t-shirt, “just, abandon me??”

“I’m not-” Jean put his hand on his shoulder.

Yuri pushed his hand off, “Don’t touch me!” he took his pants from the floor.

Jean withdrew his hand, “Yuri, I’m not abandoning you.”

“Really?”

“Really. I want to go back to being friends.”

“Back to being _friends??_ ” He buttoned his pants and took an aggressive step towards Jean, “We were _never friends._ We met on a blind date. We flirted. We started dating. The only thing to go back to is being strangers.” Yuri snatched his flannel and coat, put on his boots, and left the apartment. The snow crunched under his feet. He got in his car and sobbed.

 

He was shook from his memory and yelped.

“Woah, sorry Yuri, did I scare you?” the passenger side door was open and Chris was looking over Yuri.

Yuri became aware of the bags of Chinese food in his lap. He shook his head and handed over two of the bags, “It’s alright, Chris.” He wanted to say more, to reject the idea, but he couldn’t hide anything right now. Yuri got out of his car and pulled his bag from the back seat

* * *

 

“Hey Yuri,” Emil handed Yuri a takeout box and sat next to him on Mila’s sectional, “haven’t seen you since before break, what’s been happening?”

Yuri shrugs and starts eating his takeout.

Emil’s face gets a twinge of sadness and he puts an arm around his friend’s shoulders, “It’s okay if you don’t wanna talk, buddy.”

* * *

 

“Yuri, do you wanna be my assistant?”

Yuri looked up to the tv. It’s a torso and there are stills of characters on-screen. He has no idea what’s happening. Chris is holding out a nunchuk connected to the Wiimote in his hand. “Uh, what do I have to do?” he asked as he took the nunchuk in his left hand and sat on Chris’s right on the couch.

Chris advances the dialogue until the screen goes black then fades back in with [Begin Operation] over a torso. Mila goes up to the screen and points to the bottom left “Okay you see this circle? Those are the tools. You’re going to point the stick in a direction to give Chris one of those tools. Just flip through until you find the one he’s asking for.”

“Uh okay…”

“Gimme the bio gel, it’s the top one” Yuri flicks the stick up and Chris’s cursor changes to a small bottle briefly before going back to a dot. He smears the gel on the yellow line and it turns a cyan color. “Scalpel, left” Yuri flicks to the left.

Mila reads aloud the dialogue at the bottom “I’ve sterilized the area. Now making my incision-”

Chris goes to make an incision and veers off the line.

Mila casually adds “whoops” in the same voice. Sara and Seung-gil laugh aloud and Chris tries to not veer again. Chris makes the incision, Seung-gil quietly says “cool” behind him as the word ‘Cool’ floated out of the line.

The camera zoomed in, the screen now showing a weird purple mush with red mush on it, presumably inside the man Chris just cut open.

Mila reads “They were right, this isn’t a normal tumor. Begin by draining the cytoplasm.”

“Drain, bottom right.” Chris asks. Yuri flicks bottom right and Chris drains the green mush around the red mush. “Laser, bottom.”

“Laser?” Yuri asks as he flicks down

“Yes, I’m shooting a laser into this man’s large intestine.” Chris said as he shot the laser at the small pimple looking things around the red mush.

Similarly ridiculous flicks continued as Chris “performed surgery” and made noises with his mouth that sounded like an airplane.

* * *

 

“I am sucking all kinds of ass at being an assistant.” Yuri said sadly as the medical board was notified of their failures a fourth time.

Chris patted his shoulder, “don’t tell Seung-gil, but you’re actually my best assistant.”

“You didn’t even lower your voice, Chris. You fucking stage whispered.” Seung-gil said.

* * *

 

“It’s the ability that ruined my life but it’s the reason I’m here!” Mila read as a pentagram formed on the screen.

Yuri dropped the nunchuk into Chris’s lap, “What the fuck _is_ this game??”

Chris cocks his head, “It’s a realistic surgery simulator.”

Sara hold up the box, “Turn your living room into an OR!”

* * *

 

“Ha! Longest road, bitches!” Yuri yells over the table.

Mila offers him a high five and takes the Longest Road card from Sara and Seung-gil, “Now if I’m not mistaken, I’m sure that brings us to ten victory points?” she said in a mock posh accent.

Yuri adjusts an imaginary monocle on his face, “I do say, Lady Babicheva, you are _quite_ correct!” he adds in his own mock posh accent.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay but I was literally dumped with the phrase "what if we broke up" and I thought he was joking bc he knew I had anxiety and abandonment issues. Ohh how wrong I was. So... seventeen.
> 
>  **EDIT:** The game Chris was playing is called Trauma Center: Second Opinion and it's so bad but like the kind of bad that comes full circle so it's good somehow. The level that they were playing is actually p hard imho. [Here's basically how it went down](https://youtu.be/YF6eNDSKHU4?t=4m55s)


	3. The chapter where Yuri and Mila realize they sleep at each other's place way too often.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The morning after..... the sleepover. Kinda boring but it's exposition so u gotta deal with it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It is Wednesday my dudes
> 
> I looked up how old Chris is because I remembered that he’s best friends with Viktor and he’s 25 which makes him 28 going on 29 in this au. I made a big list of bullet points for how they’re friends so I’ll tack them somewhere. Probably a post on my YOI blog. I'll tweet out the post some time.
> 
>  **Triggers/Warnings:** Dysphoria, briefly; too many jokes about Lightning McQueen (it's 2)

Suddenly, he woke up. His breathing was heavy and his forehead was a bit damp with sweat after the nightmare he had. Yuri pushed himself up. The room was not his own and it was dark. He looked around and saw the others sleeping around him.

‘ _Right, the sleepover._ ’ he rubbed his eyes and stood from his place in the pillow puddle. He tried his best to get out of the pile of sleeping friends without waking any of them. He took his sweatshirt and a small bag from his duffel.

In Mila’s bathroom, Yuri splashed a little cold water on his face. ‘ _What was that dream about?_ ’ He tried remembering the nightmare but it was lost; doesn’t mean it didn’t shake him up, though. He rubbed his eyes again and looked at himself in the mirror. His hair was mussed, his shirt had slipped off one shoulder, and the small bumps on his chest seemed painfully noticeable. Yuri pulled the sweatshirt on and crossed his arms over his chest. It’s not the most flattering view of the young man, but it muffles his dysphoria a little.

He combed a hand through his blond locks and watched them fall back down to his shoulders. The longer Yuri watched his reflection, the more it seemed his face was rounding, his shoulders sloping more dramatically, as if-

Yuri shook the thought from his mind and set to brush his teeth in an attempt to kill time until someone else wakes up.

 

Yuri reentered Mila’s bedroom, to no change, and unplugged his phone from the -surely unsafe- pile of cables near the window where everyone left their phones to charge for the night. Yuri snatched the fuzzy blanket he was sleeping under before and sat in a comfy chair, declaring it as his territory for playing games on his phone until someone else wakes up.

He lit up his phone, the lock screen being [ a picture of himself and JJ ](http://68.media.tumblr.com/9ca8252ad71a4f5283d14a96a70038d9/tumblr_oke01mUvhl1s82wz9o1_500.png). It’s obnoxiously adorable and he smiles fondly at the photo for a few precious seconds before remembering the events of the day before. Yuri unlocks his phone and navigates to his messages. He checks the text he received from Yūri while he was asleep.

 

> **カツ丼**
> 
> Yesterday at 23:46
> 
> **カツ丼**
> 
> -Goodnight Yura! We love you!
> 
> **You**
> 
> -Night
> 
> **Today at 1:03**
> 
> **カツ丼**
> 
> -Let us know when you’re coming home. Georgi said he’d cover your shift tomorrow if you needed to take some time off

Yuri smiled at the text. His uncle was good at reading him somehow, even when he isn’t there. He closed the app and navigated to a puzzle game app to occupy himself with until he got sleepy again or someone woke up.

 

It was about 6 am when he saw Mila sit up from her place in the sleep puddle, her figure was faintly lit by moonlight streaming through the curtains and a night light she keeps to not run into walls in the night. She started a silent conversation between the two of them.

Mila waved.

Yuri waved back.

She pointed at the door to the hall and cocked her head to the side.

Yuri gives a thumbs up.

Mila points to the bundle of phones and chargers, then brings the gesture to herself.

Yuri nods and stands up, bringing the fuzzy blanket with him.

Mila opens the door and starts shuffling out of the bedroom.

Yuri takes Mila’s phone from the pile and follows her.

They end up in the kitchen and Mila taps the kitchen table with her fingertips.

Yuri sits in one of the chairs and places the phones on the table.

Mila takes a box of cereal from a pantry and shows it to Yuri.

He nods.

She goes to the fridge for milk, and the cabinet for bowls and spoons.

Mila sets the components on the table and starts pouring off-brand “rice squares” into an orange bowl. She nudges it towards Yuri and starts pouring the cereal into a turquoise bowl.

Yuri pours milk into his cereal and hands the jug to Mila to pour into her own bowl.

They do this every time they sleep over at one-another’s house. They sat eating cereal in silence for about three minutes, not including Yuri vaguely scowling at his bowl and Mila sliding the sugar to him. Yuri glares at her because _how dare she suggest I soil the most important meal of the day with unnecessary sugar?_ He follows this shaming stare by dropping 4 spoonfuls of sugar atop his cereal.

When they were almost done with their bowls, Mila asked “Did you have a dream last night?”

Yuri shrugged and swirled his remaining cereal in the bowl with his spoon, “I think I had a nightmare, but I don’t remember it very well. It was dark, I was running, I came to a cliff, and my head hurt.”

Mila nodded sagely. “I had a dream about Stardew Valley. I was the farmer, but also the doctor? And the carpenter was Sara. We went to the Egg Festival together and a cow won the egg hunt.”

“That’s a mean thing to say about Abigail,” Yuri said in an observant tone.

Mila frantically added, “No, Abigail was there, she lost to the cow too!”

A voice came from the hallway, “Abigail poisoned the water supply, burned my crops, and delivered a plague unto Pelican Town,” Emil appeared in the archway of the kitchen. He noticed the near-empty bowls of cereal, “Mila where are your bowls?”

“I’m not telling you if you don’t respect my wife,” Mila said casually and ate another spoonful of cereal.

Yuri chuckled, “did you have a dream last night, Emil?”

Emil started searching through the cabinets, “I had a dream about Cars. Lightning McQueen is lost in the woods. There’s no one around to help. He’s aimlessly driving. Then, he sees someone.”

Mila interjected “was it Shia LaBus?”

Yuri nearly choked from laughing suddenly. Emil placed his hands on the counter to support himself,”I-” his laughter cut him off, “It was actually that new blue car Jackson and he was playing some song I can’t remember. Yours was better though.”

By the time Yuri collected himself after his laughing fit, Emil had found a bowl and was sat next to him at the table preparing his cereal.

Yuri lit up his phone to check the time and was met with that same outrageously cute selfie that he needed to change. He made a disgusted sound and dropped the phone onto the table, “I need to change my lock screen.”

Emil leant to the side and Mila craned her neck so see the photo before it faded back to black. The two both made the noises you make when someone gets hurt in a movie, that sheer sound of gasping through gritted teeth. Mila turned the phone to face her, “what’s your password?”

“One-four-oh-five.” Yuri recited.

He felt a hand rubbing circles on his back, then Emil mumbled, “you’re gonna be okay, buddy.” Yuri looked up to him and turned a corner of his mouth up for a short moment, blink-and-you’ll-miss-it.

Mila was going through his photos, scanning the thumbnails for lock screen candidates. Yuri would later find out that she was also sending every photo of JJ to a hidden folder (not deleting them in case any were personally important or good blackmail material).

 

Seung-gil eventually joined them in the kitchen for breakfast. When asked about his dream he replied “Lightning McQueen fucked my mom” and sat next to Emil with his own cereal bowl.

Emil looked to Seung-gil and said “I had a dream about Lightning McQueen too!”

Seung-gil stared into his face for a moment before saying “I was joking.”

Yuri could not begin to explain what happened after Seung-gil said that, but Mila now has “what’s the word for people attracted to cars” in her google search history.

* * *

When everyone was mostly awake, they tried to decide on what to do next or if it was time to split. Sara suggested going to the thrift stores and Seung-gil reminded her that most thrift stores in town are closed on Sunday. A lack of other ideas and rapidly approaching commitments for the day forced the group to split.

  
Mila watched Yuri drive away from her house and quietly hoped that he’d be okay for the next leg of his breakup grief. When she couldn’t see his car anymore, she went inside and started tidying up before she had to get ready for work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I used thesaurus.com a lot for this chapter. Specifically “disgusting” and “adorable” so that any time the selfie is mentioned, Yuri is that much more Extra™ about it.  
> I also tried to think of a password for Yuri’s phone and remembered my parents’ anniversary being my mom’s phone password for a while… So Yuri’s password is (was) his and JJ’s anniversary.


	4. The Pain Here That I Feel / Try and Tell Me It's Not Real

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuri comes home to pirozhki in the oven and overthinks in his bathroom. Brief appearance of JJ being an actual angel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has a point where Yuri really focuses on dysphoria bs so be careful. This is also un-beta'd.  
> Russian & French phrases will be translated when you hover over them  
>  **Triggers/Warnings:** Dysphoria; Mention of Sex; Mention of Genitals; Unintentional Self-Harm; Mention of Blood; my own shitty jokes that no one will recognize as a joke just a shitty line;

Yuri came to the street he lives on. A cursory glance of the driveway, occupied by only a flashy-as-all-hell red car, revealed that Viktor was probably the only one home.

He pulled in the driveway, shut off his car, and pulled the key from his ignition. Yuri decides to savor his few moments of not being smothered by Viktor. After a few moments of sitting in silence with his eyes closed, Yuri got a text from Viktor. He knew by the custom text tone, unique to Viktor on his phone, [an impression of a well-adjusted adult](https://vine.co/v/Mim03eOUg01).

> **Витя  
> ** Today at 11:14
> 
> **Витя  
> ** -[Ты дома?](https://translate.google.com/#en/ru/motherfucking%20Jesse%20Eisenberg%20JESUS%20Christ%20fuck%20dude%20mother%20fucking%20Facebook%20movie%20bullshit%20JESUS%20can%20you%20fucking%20believe%20this%20shit%20God%20damn%20created%20Facebook%20then%20fucking%20lawyers%20and%20shit%20right%20fucking%20winkle%20boss%20twins%20God%20damn%20rowing%20the%20boat%20God%20damn%20this%20shit%20I%20can%E2%80%99t%20even%20fucking%20believe%20this%20shit%20have%20you%20seen%20this%20shit%20fuck%20I%20just%20watched%20this%20shit%20fuck%20Jesse%20Eisenberg%20man%20motherfucking%20Spider-Man%20Spider-Man%20you%20put%20in%20the%20time%20fuck%20put%20in%20the%20time%20motherfucking%20build%20shit%20with%20his%20bare%20hands%20fucking%20best%20friend%20shit%20Jesse%20Eisenberg%20I%E2%80%99m%20very%20tired%20no%20man%20I%E2%80%99ll%20just%20talk%20about%20the%20facebook%20movie%20all%20day%20shit%20man%20you%20must%20be%20so%20interested%20in%20the%20shit%20I%20have%20to%20say%20about%20the%20Facebook%20movie%20fuck%20dude%20I%20just%20watched%20the%20year%20and%20a%20half%20ago%20fuck%20Jesse%20Eisenberg%20man%20man%20he%20fucked%20over%20Spider-Man%20and%20crazy%20winkleboss%20twins%20rowing%20Trent%20resin%20or%20did%20the%20soundtrack%20fuck%20this%20guy%20who%20invented%20facebook%20I%20don%E2%80%99t%20like%20dying%20I%20can%E2%80%99t%20think%20of%20who%20the%20fuck%20invented%20Facebook%20all%20I%20can%20think%20is%20the%20guy%20who%20played%20the%20guy%20who%20invented%20Facebook%20who%20the%20fuck%20invented%20Facebook%20MARK%20ZUCKERBERG)
> 
> **You  
> ** -[Да](https://translate.google.com/#en/ru/Ted%20Cruz%20ate%20my%20son.)
> 
> **Витя  
> ** -[Ты попадающей внутрь?](https://translate.google.com/#en/ru/There%20are%20only%20two%20genders%3A%0ASkate%0ADie)
> 
> **You  
> ** -[Можете ли вы, возможно, отдохнуть?](https://translate.google.com/#en/ru/You%20guys%20might%20not%20even%20click%20these%20links.%20Hell%2C%20I%20could%20spill%20a%20secret%20and%20you%20guys%20wouldn't%20even%20know.%0AAlright%2C%20listen%20up%3A%20Yurio%20isn't%20the%20only%20trans%20person%20in%20the%20house.%20Place%20your%20bets.)

Yuri took a deep breath. He counted to ten. He sighed. Yuri got out of the car, pulled out his duffel from the back, and locked the car. As he approached the house, Viktor and Makkachin were watching him through the front window. Yuri came to the front door and reached to open it, but Viktor opened it before him.

“Yura! How was the slumber party?  
“[eto byl shtraf,](https://translate.google.com/#en/ru/Self%20care%20is%20going%20into%20another%20dimension%20and%20knife%20fighting%20your%20seventy-four%20mental%20illnesses)” Yuri told him it was fine, and he set his duffel bag at the foot of the stairs to bring up to his room later, “[Yest' li u Vas plan na obed?](https://translate.google.com/#en/ru/this%20chapter%20was%20actually%20pretty%20hard%20to%20write%3B%20and%20not%20just%20because%20my%20'A'%20key%20doesn't%20work.)”

Viktor started to answer Yuri’s question, “Well, there’s pirozhki in the oven-” he was cut off by Yuri immediately running out of the entryway.

He sped through the open concept living area graciously provided by suburban architecture, followed closely by Makkachin, and turned on the oven light. It seemed like the little buns were almost done. Yuri bounced up from his crouch and looked at the timer, which was set for another eight minutes. That plus the time it would take to cool meant he’d have to wait about twenty minutes to finally have his favorite food comforting him from what feels like darkness encroaching on his vital organs.

Viktor suddenly placed a hand on Yuri’s shoulder, startling him, and pulled his nephew into his side. Viktor tried his best to casually comfort Yuri. Of course, being low-key is not something he does well. The same could be said for anyone with Nikiforov blood.

“I’m gonna go upstairs. Let me know when it’s done,” Yuri asked, in English, and he went back through the kitchen and living room into the entryway, hoisted his bag on his shoulder, and trudged up the stairs to his room. When he opened the door, he immediately felt like it was different. Well, everything feels like it’s different now. Yuri closed the door behind him and dropped his bag on the floor next to his desk.

Yuri grabbed his little bag of hygienics and went to his bathroom. He looked at himself in the mirror. He looked into his eyes and thought. Thought about his hair being too long and his face too round. Thought about his stance that he spent years training to be more masculine and yet now he sees himself standing with his arms wrapped across his middle and his legs crossing over each other. ' _I'm standing like a girl'_ he thought.

 

He thought about JJ. He was bound to come up eventually. Yuri tried to figure out why Jean left him. He thought of their first date almost a year ago. Yuri was so scared, he didn’t want to be rejected because he wasn’t enough of a boy. He had anticipated his date taking one look at him then calling their friend because “Kat, I’m guy, why did you set me up with this weird looking girl?”

Yuri was surprised when JJ didn’t point out his femininities. He complimented Yuri’s hair. Yuri said it was getting long and he wanted to cut it, making a joke about how people think he looks like a girl. Jean disagreed and said he looked good.

Yuri thought about how, months later, when Jean was wanting to get more serious, he came out to him as trans. He expected to be yelled at, shoved away, hit, abandoned, any mixture of the above.

They were hanging out in Yuri’s room. JJ had brought up the subject the day before. Having sex. Yuri knew he wanted to, but had to come clean with JJ first. They were sitting on his bed and playing with each other’s hands, chatting about anything. Yuri had been working up the courage to come out and say it for almost 3 hours, “Jean,” he started, “I need to tell you something.”

Jean’s eyes widened as he looked up from their hands to Yuri’s face. Yuri’s sure he looked terrified. Jean had stilled their hands, “you can tell me anything, _[mon chou](https://translate.google.com/#en/fr/It%20literally%20means%20%22my%20cabbage%22%20and%20i%20think%20it's%20hilarious.%20JJ%20is%20the%20cabbage%20merchant%20from%20ATLA.)_.”

Yuri took in a breath, “I… You asked me if I wanted to have sex with you, and I said that I wasn’t sure if I was ready yet…” he left the thought hanging looking into his boyfriend’s face. ‘ _He’s so pretty. This isn’t fair,_ ’ he thought to himself. “So, before we move any further in our relationship, I need to tell you that-” he stopped himself again and looked back up to Jean, because Yuri kept unconsciously looking around the room for help.

Jean brought a hand up to cup Yuri’s cheek, “whatever it is, you’ll still be _my Yuri_.”

Yuri had a hard time believing that, but the tension was battering him, his mind incessantly screaming ‘ _I don’t have a penis; I have a vagina_ ” and he ended up blurting out “ _I don’t have a vagina, Jean._ ”

Jean stared at him quizzically, “I kind of assumed that.”

Yuri backtracked and realized what he said. He took his hands from JJ’s and covered his face. He mumbled into his palms, for himself, really, “ _I didn’t mean that. Fuck._ ”

Jean pulled Yuri’s hands from his face, “it’s okay, _[mon chèr](https://translate.google.com/#en/fr/Cheese%20Omelet)_ , you can try again.” Jean knows how to press the right buttons with Yuri; he’s a sucker for French.

Yuri took another deep breath, opened his eyes, looked into Jean’s. “I _do_ have a vagina, Jean, I’m trans. I said it.” He shut his eyes and braced for impact, a punch, a slap, a shove. He felt it about a second later, on his lips, ‘ _what?_ ’ it felt like JJ was kissing him, ‘ _Is he really kissing me? ’_

Jean was firmly holding Yuri’s shoulder with his left hand and cradling the back of Yuri’s head with his right. He pecked several light kisses around his mouth, on his jaw, on his neck. Yuri tried to process what was happening. This was the “best case scenario” that Yuri doubted was possible. Yuri finally gathered his words, “you’re not… you’re not mad?”

Jean paused his barrage of affection and pulled away from his boyfriend, “of course not. I love you for _you_ , _[mon cœur](https://translate.google.com/#en/fr/did%20you%20guys%20know%20i%20actually%20cried%20while%20writing%20this%20scene%0Abecause%20i%20totally%20did)_ _”_ he punctuated the statement with a kiss to Yuri’s forehead.

 

Yuri’s heart ached. If it wasn’t because he was trans, what was so wrong with him that made JJ dump him? Yuri could feel tears waiting at the corners of his eyes, like pipes ready to burst. He tears his gaze away from his mirror and goes to change from his looser clothes into something that will keep his dysphoric thoughts to a minimum.

He pulled the baggy shirt over his head and- ‘ _wait what’s that?_ ’ he noticed some discoloration around the collar, something red- Yuri felt around his neck, ‘ _nothing_ ’ he stepped back into his bathroom to check the mirror (no matter how much he’d rather shatter it right now) and saw nothing on his neck. He brought a hand to feel it agai- ‘ _oh._ ’

It had happened about once or twice before, many, many years ago. The outer side of his forearm was raw, parts of it bleeding. Yuri pieces it together, bringing his arms to where they were before: across his middle and the tips of his fingers lined up with the raw skin. He completely zoned out and didn’t realize he was scratching his damn skin off.

Yuri groans and begins to try and wash the wounds in his sink. ‘ _Viktor is going to call me downstairs any minute and he’ll see it and ask me what happened and he’ll think I’m dangerous. A danger to myself. It was just a break-up. A normal part of life. I am_ **_not_ ** _getting bad again over_ **_a boy_ **.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really didn't mean to have that memory be a flash back but it happened. There's a thing that happens when you're writing a story- you stop being the one writing it because the characters are taking over. So blame JJ, _Cet Enfoiré_.  
>  Also, shout out to the time I had a panic attack at work and started hyperfocusing and when Sergei shook me out of it my left arm was bleeding bc I was scratching it raw the entire time i was out of it.
> 
> Chapter title from the song "Tears to Shed" in "The Corpse Bride"


	5. You Can Take One Man’s Trash To Another Man’s Treasure But You Can’t Make It Drink

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuri tries to clean up his mess, Viktor is a dad, Yuri goes to work, and the closing crew asks the real questions.  
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EDIT, November 2017:  
> Okay it's literally like 7 months since I finished this fic but I just remembered something that could be taken in a totally wrong direction and I feel like I need to explain myself [insert nervous laughter]  
> In this chapter, Mila sends Yuri a photo to use as his new phone background and in February (when I posted this chapter) I had just rediscovered the "If Karl Marx Was Real" post that I think is hysterical. I has only now occurred to me in November that that could be taken as a communism joke and not just me being a fucking memelord??  
> I also don't care that much about this fic anymore because I've changed the au so much so I don't want to actually come up with a replacement joke [grimacing emoji]
> 
>  ~~I missed 2 postings aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh. Sorry my dudes. If you don't follow my twitter, I've been out for a couple weeks because of my grandfather dying. I'm trying to catch up though, since I was planning on posting for Chris's birthday in addition to last Wednesday and have~~ _this Wednesday_ be the chapter where I introduce Otabek (shout out to Otayuri week 2017) but my family has been busy with funeral prep and constant visits from the community.  
>  BUT I'M BACK, MY DUDES. I AM NOW SHIFTING INTO MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE.
> 
> Anything in Russian/Cryrillic will be translated when you hover over it  
>  **Triggers/Warnings this chapter:** Blood(?), Wounds(?), Talking about self-harm, **Spoiler alert** for Voltron: LD Season 1 Episode 3

Yuri pulled on his binder and a less baggy shirt, then snuck through his uncles’ bedroom into their bathroom to bandage his arm  . He applied Neosporin onto his raw forearm, covered it with some gauze, and wrapped it with a bandage roll.  Yuri then  quickly  put everything back into the medicine cabinet and ran back to his room, hoping Viktor noticed nothing.

 

Yuri closed his door behind him and fell onto his bed.  He laid there for several seconds before noticing the notification light on his phone. He took the phone from his desk and lit up the- _‘oh goddammit. Fuck off JJ,’_ his lockscreen was still that  disgustingly  affectionate selfie of himself and JJ. He unlocked his phone and checked his text messages. There’s one from Mila with a photo attached, and one from Georgi. 

> **Баба**  
>  Today at 13:18
> 
>  **Баба  
>  ** -[[Image](http://68.media.tumblr.com/5e052723e14551fc4a885a5a269459fd/tumblr_inline_o9ermlHD4o1rullbx_400.jpg)]  
>  -Temporary lock screen.

The image  mostly  looked like the infamous bigfoot sighting picture with big white text across it that read [  I BELIEVE  .]  However  , bigfoot’s head  was replaced  with that of Karl Marx  . Yuri smiled and sent a kissing emoji as thanks.  

> **You  
>  ** -

Yuri then checked the text from Georgi,

> **Лорд эмоции  
>  ** Today at 13:14
> 
>  **Лорд эмоции  
>  ** -Do you need me to cover for you or not  
>  -Tell me in the next 5 minutes or I’m not doing it because I have other things to do.  
>  -Alright I’m not doing it. Good luck at your shift.

_'Fuck’_

Yuri jumped from his bed and pulled open his closet, taking a long-sleeved work shirt and a pair of dark jeans. He scrambled to get dressed, tripping on his way out of his skinny jeans.

A moment later, Viktor was knocking on his door, “Yuri?”

“Yea,” Yuri gasped out, laying on his floor.

“What  just  happened?”

Yuri pushed himself up to sit on the floor, “I tripped.”

Viktor pushed open Yuri’s door, _"_ _[Moy synok, ty ranen?!](https://translate.google.com/#ru/en/%D0%BC%D1%8F%D1%83%20%D0%BC%D1%8F%D1%83%20%D0%BC%D1%8F%D1%83%20%D0%BC%D1%8F%D1%83%20%D0%BC%D1%8F%D1%83%20%D0%BC%D1%8F%D1%83%0A%D0%9C%D0%BE%D0%B9%20%D1%81%D1%8B%D0%BD%D0%BE%D0%BA%2C%20%D1%82%D1%8B%20%D1%80%D0%B0%D0%BD%D0%B5%D0%BD%3F)"_  he kneeled beside Yuri and was about to manically look his nephew over, but his search ended before it even began. He gently took Yuri’s bandaged left arm in his hands, _"_ _[chto eto?](https://translate.google.com/#ru/en/%D0%BC%D1%8F%D1%83%20%D0%BC%D1%8F%D1%83%20%D0%BC%D1%8F%D1%83%20%D0%BC%D1%8F%D1%83%20%D0%BC%D1%8F%D1%83%20%D0%BC%D1%8F%D1%83%0A%D0%9C%D0%BE%D0%B9%20%D1%81%D1%8B%D0%BD%D0%BE%D0%BA%2C%20%D1%82%D1%8B%20%D1%80%D0%B0%D0%BD%D0%B5%D0%BD%3F%0A%D1%87%D1%82%D0%BE%20%D1%8D%D1%82%D0%BE%3F)"_ he asked, looking into his nephew’s eyes.

Yuri pulled his arm back, _"[Nichego](https://translate.google.com/#ru/en/%D0%BC%D1%8F%D1%83%20%D0%BC%D1%8F%D1%83%20%D0%BC%D1%8F%D1%83%20%D0%BC%D1%8F%D1%83%20%D0%BC%D1%8F%D1%83%20%D0%BC%D1%8F%D1%83%0A%D0%9C%D0%BE%D0%B9%20%D1%81%D1%8B%D0%BD%D0%BE%D0%BA%2C%20%D1%82%D1%8B%20%D1%80%D0%B0%D0%BD%D0%B5%D0%BD%3F%0A%D1%87%D1%82%D0%BE%20%D1%8D%D1%82%D0%BE%3F%0A%D0%9D%D0%B8%D1%87%D0%B5%D0%B3%D0%BE.)."_

Viktor gave him a chastising stare.

_"[Ya v poryadke](https://translate.google.com/#ru/en/%D0%BC%D1%8F%D1%83%20%D0%BC%D1%8F%D1%83%20%D0%BC%D1%8F%D1%83%20%D0%BC%D1%8F%D1%83%20%D0%BC%D1%8F%D1%83%20%D0%BC%D1%8F%D1%83%0A%D0%9C%D0%BE%D0%B9%20%D1%81%D1%8B%D0%BD%D0%BE%D0%BA%2C%20%D1%82%D1%8B%20%D1%80%D0%B0%D0%BD%D0%B5%D0%BD%3F%0A%D1%87%D1%82%D0%BE%20%D1%8D%D1%82%D0%BE%3F%0A%D0%9D%D0%B8%D1%87%D0%B5%D0%B3%D0%BE.%20%0A%D0%AF%20%D0%B2%20%D0%BF%D0%BE%D1%80%D1%8F%D0%B4%D0%BA%D0%B5.)."_

Viktor continued his staring and raised an eyebrow, a silent lecture saying ‘You can tell me  honestly  so I can help or I can work the answer out of you and you’ll be in trouble.’ 

_"[I ya ne tvoy syn](https://translate.google.com/#ru/en/%D0%BC%D1%8F%D1%83%20%D0%BC%D1%8F%D1%83%20%D0%BC%D1%8F%D1%83%20%D0%BC%D1%8F%D1%83%20%D0%BC%D1%8F%D1%83%20%D0%BC%D1%8F%D1%83%0A%D0%9C%D0%BE%D0%B9%20%D1%81%D1%8B%D0%BD%D0%BE%D0%BA%2C%20%D1%82%D1%8B%20%D1%80%D0%B0%D0%BD%D0%B5%D0%BD%3F%0A%D1%87%D1%82%D0%BE%20%D1%8D%D1%82%D0%BE%3F%0A%D0%9D%D0%B8%D1%87%D0%B5%D0%B3%D0%BE.%20%0A%D0%AF%20%D0%B2%20%D0%BF%D0%BE%D1%80%D1%8F%D0%B4%D0%BA%D0%B5.%0A%D0%98%20%D1%8F%20%D0%BD%D0%B5%20%D1%82%D0%B2%D0%BE%D0%B9%20%D1%81%D1%8B%D0%BD.)."_  

Viktor took a deep breath before standing and pulling Yuri up to his feet. _"_   _[yeda gotova.](https://translate.google.com/#ru/en/%D0%BC%D1%8F%D1%83%20%D0%BC%D1%8F%D1%83%20%D0%BC%D1%8F%D1%83%20%D0%BC%D1%8F%D1%83%20%D0%BC%D1%8F%D1%83%20%D0%BC%D1%8F%D1%83%0A%D0%9C%D0%BE%D0%B9%20%D1%81%D1%8B%D0%BD%D0%BE%D0%BA%2C%20%D1%82%D1%8B%20%D1%80%D0%B0%D0%BD%D0%B5%D0%BD%3F%0A%D1%87%D1%82%D0%BE%20%D1%8D%D1%82%D0%BE%3F%0A%D0%9D%D0%B8%D1%87%D0%B5%D0%B3%D0%BE.%20%0A%D0%AF%20%D0%B2%20%D0%BF%D0%BE%D1%80%D1%8F%D0%B4%D0%BA%D0%B5.%0A%D0%98%20%D1%8F%20%D0%BD%D0%B5%20%D1%82%D0%B2%D0%BE%D0%B9%20%D1%81%D1%8B%D0%BD.%0A%D0%B5%D0%B4%D0%B0%20%D0%B3%D0%BE%D1%82%D0%BE%D0%B2%D0%B0.)" _ he said as he left Yuri’s room.

Yuri got dressed in his work clothes and went downstairs. Viktor was sat at the kitchen table, eating some of the pirozhki. Yuri took one of the hot buns from the baking sheet at the counter and sat across from Viktor.

Yuri took a bite from the little bun and immediately felt better, like everything was okay; It’s almost Pavlovian  .  When he was seven, he told his grandparents how he felt about his gender and they accepted him and finished making pirozhki for dinner  .  When he and Nikolai moved to the US, Viktor picked them up at the bus station and brought pirozhki to eat after the long bus ride  . Time and time again, it always continued to comfort Yuri after  being hurt  .  He looked up to his uncle across from him and saw Viktor was staring at Yuri’s bandaged arm, knowing it was there beneath the long sleeves.

“Yuri,” Viktor started. He placed a hand on Yuri’s forearm, _"_ _[eto samonaneseniya uvech'ye?](https://translate.google.com/#ru/en/%D0%BC%D1%8F%D1%83%20%D0%BC%D1%8F%D1%83%20%D0%BC%D1%8F%D1%83%20%D0%BC%D1%8F%D1%83%20%D0%BC%D1%8F%D1%83%20%D0%BC%D1%8F%D1%83%0A%D0%9C%D0%BE%D0%B9%20%D1%81%D1%8B%D0%BD%D0%BE%D0%BA%2C%20%D1%82%D1%8B%20%D1%80%D0%B0%D0%BD%D0%B5%D0%BD%3F%0A%D1%87%D1%82%D0%BE%20%D1%8D%D1%82%D0%BE%3F%0A%D0%9D%D0%B8%D1%87%D0%B5%D0%B3%D0%BE.%20%0A%D0%AF%20%D0%B2%20%D0%BF%D0%BE%D1%80%D1%8F%D0%B4%D0%BA%D0%B5.%0A%D0%98%20%D1%8F%20%D0%BD%D0%B5%20%D1%82%D0%B2%D0%BE%D0%B9%20%D1%81%D1%8B%D0%BD.%0A%D0%B5%D0%B4%D0%B0%20%D0%B3%D0%BE%D1%82%D0%BE%D0%B2%D0%B0.%0A%D1%8D%D1%82%D0%BE%20%D1%81%D0%B0%D0%BC%D0%BE%D0%BD%D0%B0%D0%BD%D0%B5%D1%81%D0%B5%D0%BD%D0%B8%D1%8F%20%D1%83%D0%B2%D0%B5%D1%87%D1%8C%D0%B5%3F)"_

“Viktor, I didn’t do it on purposeー” 

Viktor cut him off, “If you didn’t do it on purpose, explain to me what that is and how it happened.” 

“I…” he tried to come up with a vague answer, “scratched it... and it started bleeding,” 

“Scratched it on what?” he shot back, deeming it an unsatisfactory answer. 

“Uhh,” he could almost hear the metaphorical gears in his head stop moving. 

“Well?” 

Yuri thought for a moment and came to this conclusion: he’s _fucked_. He set his pirozhki on his plate, rolled his sleeve up to the elbow, and presented his bandaged arm to Viktor. He placed his head on the table in resignation. 

He could feel Viktor hold his wrist as he unclasped the bandage and started unwrapping it. He felt the last strip peel away from the inner side of his arm; Viktor turned it over and uncovered his wound.

The cool air stung his raw skin and he tensed his arm  briefly  . Viktor’s grip on his wrist changed, from a gentle persuasion to hold his arm up, to squeezing it  tightly  . Yuri raised his head from the table and saw Viktor’s pained expression through his fringe.  

“Yura…” Viktor brushed his fingers near the raw, pink skin. He looked like he was about to cry. 

Yuri sat up more to meet Viktor’s eyes, “I’m going to remind you that it wasn’t on purpose.” 

Viktor looked up to him with tears forming in his eyes, distressed and silent.

“I zoned out and when I came back I had scratched off a bunch of skin. I didn’t mean to, I was  just  …” he stopped, unsure of how to articulate what exactly happened. He didn’t understand what exactly happened anyway.

Viktor  silently  began wrapping the bandage around his arm again. 

“I  really  didn’t mean to,” he tried.  

Viktor finally clasped the end of the bandage to itself and held Yuri’s hand in both of his own. He was silent for a moment. “Yuri, don’t do this again.” 

“I’ll try not toー” 

“Promise me. You will not hurt yourself and not tell me.” Viktor was looking him in the eye, urging him, begging him to spare his heart from more of this pain. 

 

“I promise.” 

 

* * *

Yuri was happy it was cool enough to get away with wearing a long-sleeved shirt at work; he  really  didn’t want to explain his bandaged arm to anyone, especially Mila  .  Thankfully  , he got through seven hours without needing to roll up his sleeves (he did have his break in the walk-in, though).

Yuri, Mila, and Jules were an unstoppable team when it came to closing the front on time, everyone having their own jobs and working together like a well-oiled machine  .  By the time Nikolai came to do his tasks for closing, the three were already sitting at the counter with their drinks and talking about Voltron  . That is, if you consider ‘bickering over what houses the paladins are in’ to be ‘talking about Voltron’.

“Nonono, Keith is definitely a Slytherin,” Yuri argues, “He has the cunning and the sense of self-preservation to protect both himself and Team Voltron-”

Mila cuts Yuri off, “Yes, but he also performs as a Gryffindor most of the time! Plus, he would be brave enough to ask to be in Gryffindor-  Just  like Harry .  Harry was like a hair away from  being sorted  into Slytherin but then he asked to be in Gryffindor and the hat sorted him there  ! If Shiro is a Gryffindor, then Keith would follow him in!” 

Jules interjects with, “But Shiro might not even be a Gryffindor. He has a lot of qualities of each house!  Look-” he takes some receipt paper off the roll and starts listing off qualities of the four houses and how Shiro is  evenly  split between the four, “His motivation in the entirety of the show is that he needs to protect the universe, both because it’s the right thing to do, much like a Gryffindor or Hufflepuff, but also because he has  been given  this duty  _directly_ , which is a quality of Ravenclaw doing things because they _must_.  We also see him sacrificing himself to save Matt from going into the fighting pit, which is a very Slytherin thing to do when you think about it because he is saving his own kin, Matt is  basically  _family to him at that point_.  His first instinct when faced with a problem is to confront it and stop it, a quality of both a Gryffindor charging head-on and a Slytherin reacting and improvising.  He has Slytherin’s cunning, Hufflepuffs inherent kindness, and Ravenclaw’s smarts,  _in addition_ to Gryffindor’s bravery.  The fact that he is so difficult to sort may be a  requirement  for the black paladin, now that  I think  about it; The other four paladins are in different houses.  Pidge is a Ravenclaw, Hunk a Hufflepuff, Lance is the kind of Gryffindor that charges in without thinking about it, and Keith is pretty  evenly  split between Gryffindor and Slytherin, leaning Slytherin if at all. So having this leader that is - I guess you could say - Divergent is a great thing. You would have views from all directions and that would make your team stronger. Shiro is the Harry Potter  equivalent  of a Divergent-” 

“A hatstand?” Mila offers.

Jules thinks for a moment, “ _sure._ ” 

Mila and Yuri nod  sagely  and golf clap for their co-worker. 

“Thank you, thank you,” Jules pantomimes a curtsy.

“Wait, I have a question,” Yuri starts.

Mila and Jules look to him and start sipping from their drinks, waiting for him to continue.

“Does… [Does Pidge Gunderson is trans?](http://i.imgur.com/wNHwu21.png)”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [I have to know. I does is have to know.](https://youtu.be/2Uy4jBAc6NQ) I binge watched all of Voltron and _my gay little heart needs to know._  
>  Subscribe to this work and to the series to make sure you don't miss shit. [Follow me on twitter](,twitter.com/DivaSongHana/%22) to get progress updates. That is all.
> 
> Chapter title is from [this post](https://jack-bauer-afarmerfromillinois.tumblr.com/post/157341212637).


	6. no schedules; we post at strange times like men

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The end of the prologue bullshit & Mila's a witch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... I mixed up Yuri's birthday and the Nintendo Switch Launch. 
> 
> like always, Russian/Cyrillic will be translated on hover  
> &  
> Triggers/Other warnings: Witches... um... the Food Network... Yuuri is #Relatable

Nikolai finally dismissed the front crew to clock out and go home at 10:50. Yuri and Mila waited outside for Jules’s mom to come pick him up before they made their way to their own cars.

Mila stopped Yuri from getting into his car when they got to the employee parking, “Yuri, hold up a second-” she unlocked her car door and reached into a bag in her passenger seat, “-I have something for you,” she pulls out a small light-colored satchel with a drawstring. Mila took Yuri’s hand and placed the satchel in his palm, covering it with her own hand. She closed her eyes and whispered something Yuri couldn’t hear, then looked up to him and smiled, withdrawing her hand.

Yuri eyed her curiously, “What is this? What are you doing? Is this a spell?” he asked in an exasperated tone. He studied the satchel, made with pink fabric, white embroidery on the surface in a shape Yuri doesn’t recognize, and the brown drawstring was braided embroidery floss with small beads of different colors and materials.

Mila simply smiled and said, “there’s a note inside,” then she hugged Yuri goodnight and got into her car. She pulled out of her parking spot and drove away, waving at Yuri from her window.

-

“Hey, I’m home!” Yuri announced as he came through the front door. He stripped off his coat, hat, and gloves, putting them away in the coat closet. He heard the tv running in the living room but no reply. Yuri stepped out of the entryway and into the living room,

And Viktor was sat on the couch with Yūri’s head resting in his lap. Yuri smiled and waved at his uncle, stepping further into the living room. The tv behind him was playing an episode of “Worst Cooks in America” very quietly. He raises a brow and pointed to Yūri, a silent question.

Viktor ran his fingers through Yūri’s hair, brushing it from his eyes, “he’s had a long day. I don’t want to wake him up.”

Yuri breathed out a laugh, “‘re you trapped?”

Viktor nodded.

“Need something?”

Viktor nodded again and smiled down at his husband. He looks at him with so much love and looks like he wouldn’t trade this moment for anything in the world.

It’s disgusting.

Viktor leaned over very carefully to grab an empty glass from the end table, “get me some more water, Yura?” he asked with contentment in his voice.

Yuri set his bag on the ground and took Viktor’s glass with him to the kitchen. He checked the fridge for some leftovers to eat- _‘hell yea, mac n cheese’_ \- took a fork from the silverware drawer, and filled Viktor’s glass with water, returning it to his trapped uncle.

 _“[Spasibo](https://translate.google.com/#ru/en/spasibo), Yurachka” _  he whispered his thanks to Yuri and promptly took a sip from the glass.

Yuri answered, _“[Nyezashta,](https://translate.google.com/#ru/en/%D0%9D%D0%B5%D0%B7%D0%B0%D1%87%D1%82%D0%BE)” _ and sat in the chair next to Viktor on the couch. He took the top from the container of mac n’ cheese and started digging into it.

“He’s been working all weekend to try and get this project done,” Viktor continued combing through Yūri’s hair, “He came home a couple hours ago, ate some dinner, then laid down and fell asleep almost immediately.”

Yuri’s eyebrows knitted together, trying to remember what shoot he was doing, “What’s the project again?” he asked with a bit of pasta still in his mouth. [me]

“A bridal magazine needs pictures of girls in some wedding dresses and bridesmaids dresses. I feel _so sorry_ for his intern. He must be _so tired_ ,” he chuckled. Viktor looked up from his husband to his nephew, “how was work?”

Yuri swallowed down the mouthful of macaroni & cheese, “it was alright. Nothing much happened. I think Jules might be writing a paper on how the Voltron paladins should be sorting into Hogwarts houses. Ne made a good argument for Keith to be a Slytherin.”

Viktor made a “tch” sound, “ne’s just saying that because _ne’s_ a Slytherin. Keith is _obviously_ a Gryffindor,” Yuri noticed the other Yūri’s eyes open slowly - Viktor didn’t.

“tsk, there’s a couple flaws in your thought process: first, _you’re_ a Gryffindor; and second, Jules is a _Ravenclaw_.”

Viktor shook his head in chagrin and mumbled something about “prideful Slytherins.” Yūri started pushing himself up from Viktor’s lap, “oh, good morning, _Sleeping Beauty,_ ” he punctuates it by booping Yūri on his nose.

Yūri squinted at Yuri, “aren’t you home early, Yura?”

Yuri made a confused face and looked at his phone’s time, _11:20,_ “I don’t think so…?”

Yūri squints at the tv, “Worst Cooks in America is still on though… it can’t be past 9.”

“Oh, _zvezda moya,_ ” Viktor pulls Yūri against his chest, “you’ve been asleep for three hours.”

Yūri looks at Viktor with a face that says _‘Are you fucking kidding me?’_ and stays like that for about 10 seconds of silence. Viktor’s smile growing from the pure confusion on his sleepy husband’s face.

Yuri watched the show with his uncles until he finished his macaroni. He stood from the chair and announced, “weeell I’m gonna go to bed.”

Viktor and Yūri, who were now laying on the couch and cuddling- _‘gross.’_ -said goodnight to their dear nephew and finished watching the show.

-

Yuri ran up the stairs to his room with his bag, washed up, and got ready for bed. He considered going to bed with a sports bra, but decided he needed to give his weary ribs a break.

The pink satchel Mila gave him wormed into his thoughts, so he went and took it from his bag. It was about the size of his palm and the brown drawstring was begging Yuri’s attention. He pulled open the mouth of the satchel, releasing the smell of lavender into his bedroom. Inside was a leathery cord with a green pendant wrapped with wire, a small note, what looked like a food coloring dropper, and some pressed flowers. Yuri took the note and opened it up,

 

He smiled, thankful that Mila was trying her best to help him, even if it’s in her own weird way. He dropped the necklace and the dropper back into the satchel and drew it closed. He traced the neat, embroidered shape with two fingers, considering the idea that Mila threw this together specifically for him and made it with her free time before work.

Yuri was really, _really_ happy he has people who love him.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you _so much_ to everyone who read this, gave it a kudos, or even _left a comment!_ I don't have a lot of confidence in my writing and your support helps me write more and feel better about it [sparkling heart emoji]  
>  If you enjoyed this, how about you read my rewrite [nudge nudge] since I'm basically scrapping this lmao
> 
> **Update Notes:**  
>  The rewrite has been posted! I've named the work ["It Was A Mutual Decision"](http://archiveofourown.org/works/11833557/chapters/26708985) and it will be following the relationship of Yuri and Kenjiro Minami during their senior year of high school. That's right, I'm going back like 2 years from when "Perfect As It Is" takes place.  
> Speaking of this fic, I'm basically scrapping it. I've changed a ridiculous amount about the AU since I wrote this and don't want the AU to be judged based on _this work._ I will still keep it here on Ao3 and I'll technically keep it as part of the series, but don't count on everything from this carrying over.  
>  I'm also working on my old Overwatch AU again, but I have less of that done at the moment. I garuntee that if I fall out of the zone on writing one and get burned out on it, I will go over to the other one and write for that.  
> I'll try to keep you all posted on my twitter! (;
> 
> **About the author:**  
>  Viktor, he/him/his or ne/nem/nir, [18](https://twitter.com/DivaSongHana/status/879026753003560960)  
> Check me out on tumblr at [my personal/main](https://jack-bauer-afarmerfromillinois.tumblr.com); [ my YOI sideblog](https://bornforviktuuri.tumblr.com); or [my sideblog for this AU and my love of Otayuri](https://sonic-at-the-disco.tumblr.com)  
> Twitter: [@DivaSongHana](https://twitter.com/DivaSongHana)  
> 


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